Kettlebridge is a plain summary of a neighbourhood notice board, written so that people who cannot keep up with three hundred posts a month still know what their street decided. Nothing here is official, and nothing here is for sale.

The board itself is an ordinary online notice board for a handful of streets between the harbour and the old allotments. People post there when a drill is needed, when a bicycle turns up in the wrong yard, or when the recycling room has been treated as a furniture shop again. It is useful and it is also relentless, which is why this digest exists.

Once a month a volunteer moderator reads everything, throws away the arguments that resolved themselves, and writes down what actually happened. The tone is deliberately flat. If a thread ended without a decision, the digest says so rather than inventing one, and if two neighbours still disagree, both positions are written out and left standing. The digest is a record, not a referee, and it has no interest in becoming one.

Kettlebridge has no budget, no committee and no authority over anybody. It is not the housing association, it is not the municipality, and it cannot make your neighbour move their trailer. What it can do is save a newcomer an evening of scrolling, and remind the rest of us what we agreed to in March. It is read, as far as anyone can tell, mostly on the bus.